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Fritz: All Fritz
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PARENTS.LZH
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ESD.TXT
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1986-12-25
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Watch @5 and look for the start of ';
frustration. ';
';
Frustration can be a bridge to greater self- ';
control or the worse enemy an individual has in ';
the battle of self-mastery. ';
';
Look for the start of frustration and then aid ';
@5 to do what is necessary to get back ';
on the right track. ';
To a child, having to deal with others is a ';
primary source of frustration. ';
';
This frustration can be seen as either a chal- ';
lenge to be overcome or something to be avoided.';
The self-control that comes from seeing it as a ';
challenge is invaluable. Your encouragement, or';
focus can determine how @5 treats this ';
frustration. It may be done by simply saying ';
to @1 , "What are you going to do now?" ';
Once something is mastered, development and ';
control is essentially complete. ';
';
If new growth is not on the horizon, greater ';
development can be gained from things already ';
mastered by encouraging speed without a loss of ';
quality. Make mastery a game if you can and do ';
not be disappointed if there is an initial loss ';
of competence in the process. ';
';
Planning aids mastery. Watching for emergent ';
things because responding to them will add ';
flexibility and involvement. ';
';
When @5 achieves mastery, the tendency ';
may be to establish a pattern of behavior and ';
then to stick to it. Encouraging spontaneity in';
that case will promote new growth and develop- ';
ment. Introduce new things or point out some- ';
thing new that is happening as it comes up. ';
Social interaction is supported when @5 ';
sees a part of @2 lot in life to work with ';
and through others. ';
';
Help @5 see that @2 behavior can serve ';
as a model to others and, at the very least, ';
be something that others must deal with. ';
';
Help @5 see that @2 behavior is ';
something others ought to aim for. ';
A child is easily caught up in the behavior of ';
others and is swept up in the standards that ';
they display. Children will either drag each ';
other up or down. ';
';
The self-discipline needed to counteract this ';
peer pressure is built by encouraging @5 ';
to see with @2 own eyes and to think with @2 ';
own mind. This can be encouraged by asking @1 ';
what @3 thinks and why. ';
Taking others into account presents a greater ';
challenge for a child than merely responding to ';
@2 own needs. ';
';
You can encourage @5 to take on this ';
challenge by helping @1 to adopt goals for ';
@2 relationships with others as well as goals ';
for personal growth. Work with @1 to see that ';
@3 takes other persons interests into account ';
in a relationship. ';
The focus of a child is often limited to the ';
personal behavior at hand. ';
';
The world is complex today and true mastery ';
demands that the actions @5 takes fit ';
into a coherent whole. This means that what ';
@3 does ought to make internal sense as well ';
as fit the family and the behavior of others. ';
You can assist this process by asking @1 how ';
things fit with each other and together. ';
A child with a narrow range of interests is ';
likely to have a narrow range of self-discipline';
as well. This is not to say that the control ';
within that range is less or not as good, but ';
rather that outside the range, behavior may well';
be less controlled. ';
';
The full expression of self-discipline has both ';
depth and breadth. It is fostered by encourag- ';
ing the new, the useful, the higher goal. ';
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